Summary
I think the goal of life is to maximise happiness. Now happiness is a feeling - and is defined by the person who is feeling it. For me I define happiness when I have a score a of 8/ 10 or good across 4 pillars. They are the ones upholding my happiness.
Health
This means being strong, limited physiological and mental stress. The way to keep a good health is underpinned by a lifestyle of consistency:
- Eating a balanced diet
- Exercising regularly
- Sleeping consistently for 7-8 hours everyday, at similar times
Family
This includes all aspects of my social well-being. This further can be divided in to 3 categories:
- My wife
- My parents, in-laws, sister, sister in law etc
- Friends
A lot of my prioritisation of my daily life revolves around this. Anything which is outside of this, when it comes to “socialising”, I limit myself, or consider “prioritising” as I don’t want to be spending time, money, or energy on things which don’t give me fulfilment. Spending time with friends and family in a meaningful way with vulnerable conversations, and sharing intimate details of our lives feels rewarding and enriching. A good example of this is spending time with my nieces, who are 9 and 6 years old, the little time I get when I’m in India. This also means I need to give up on some social obligations much to the chagrin of my parents sometimes.
This also has led to very small circle of people who I am close with. In London, where I live, I only have a handful of people I can call my friends. Other close friends are remote, but also can be counted on 1 hand. The smallness is rewarding because I know them so much better, and I feel I am a part of thier lives.
Career
This is an important and a growing pillar of my life. I am in my 30s, and I am looking to build a strong, sustainable career. Having a career isnt a monolith for me, and goes beyond having a job. I define having a career working on problems, finding solutions, and getting paid for it. The day job that I have is currently with Visa, working in strategy and operations. I want to get better at this as I find this industry to be very interesting, filled with dynamic challenges and ever-changing new technologies.
This a component which is hardest to optimise for - I need to be doing something everyday for 50 hours a week, which I need to enjoy. And I also need it to pay well.
There isnt always 100% overlap here, but I am okay with 80% threshold. I need my 80% to be enjoyable and I can make-do with the 20%. But if this balance changes, then I need to do something to restore it.
I also enjoy writing. Hence this blog. I like writing about things - and they range from things that I find interesting, things I have worked on to capturing some feelings and emotions in words. I dont get paid for it, but I hope if I write enough, I will eventually be good enough that people could pay to read what I write.
I also am passionate about fitness. I have coached people in the past, I coach people in my family, and I am always preaching about becoming a better, stronger version of yourself. Maybe this is something I can get people to pay me for. I am enrolled in a course to become a fitness trainer - I just haven’t given the final test. So perhaps thats something too.
At this point Im focussed on setting myself up in the best way that I can learn new skills, develop old ones, which would help me stay relevant in this ever-changing world.
Financial
Obvious stuff. But I treat this is a separate pillar for my happiness. Money is important. It pays for things. It helps get things done. Its the way world works. The career contributes to this directly. But its also about managing it. Where to spend, how to invest, how to optimise - both the short term and long term requirements of a household is a full time job in itself. I am glad that a little bit of my background and education, provides me with skills to manage this. My wife is extremely knowledgable about this too. And we also have advisors in friends and family who can help in decision making.
So keeping track, ensuring we are doing the right things, and being patient with outcomes are things which keep our finances in check. And they become means to happiness.
Learning and development
This is not a pillar in itself. But is a foundation which lies underneath each pillar. Its the engine which keeps things moving. I always think there is room to be better, to be able to do more, demand more, and improvement should underpin every aspect of my life.
Health- learning about what works and what doesnt. Changing lifestyles and adapting my habits whenever I am presented with new evidence, or something that can affect my health positively. I dont mean short cuts, I mean sustainable changes rooted in scientific truth. I changed my diet to include non-vegetarian food, as I felt it set me up in the best way to maintain a healthy life. I am always trying to learn about the physiology and biology of exercise and nutrition, and then include anything that I think can positively impact our lives.
In the social sphere, I am learning to be emotionally intelligent and aware. I am working on my communications, and developing habits and actions that help me become a better husband, relative, friend. This also involves unlearning some of the unconscious habits and behaviours I have, and trying to become a better human. Some examples are fighting patriarchal structures, that exist within our families and recognising / equalising the benefits of male privilege.