Hard things

Living life is just an infinite series of decisions and actions which I hope, through some luck, turn into results that I wish for. This never ending process of trying to make life better than it was yesterday is hard work - both physical and mental. When I think about living a life that makes me happy and what all it would take for me to be content - I realise that there is a lot of hard work that is needed everyday.

Humans are cognitive and physical effort misers. Left to our instincts, we save energy, avoid unnecessary effort, and pick the easier option. It’s part of our evolutionary wiring—an ancient survival strategy to conserve resources in uncertain times.

But here’s the paradox: the same brain and body that prefer the easy path are capable of incredible things. From artistic breakthroughs to athletic feats, from designing cities to sending rockets into space—human progress has always come from stretching beyond what feels easy.

This contradiction shows up most clearly in our health. Most of us know that moving more, eating well, and sleeping enough are good for us. But actually sticking with those habits is hard. Why? Because our brains default to comfort. The couch is easier than the gym. The quick snack is easier than cooking.

And yet, discipline—small, consistent habits like 30 minutes of movement a day, mindful eating, or a regular bedtime—transforms health over time. What starts as effort eventually becomes second nature.

The same principle applies far beyond health:

• In personal life, choosing to have the hard conversation builds stronger relationships than avoiding it.
• In planning and work, pushing yourself to think more deeply, to prepare more thoroughly, or to take on challenging projects accelerates growth.
• In creativity, the initial discomfort of sitting down and producing something—whether a blog, a design, or a strategy—leads to breakthroughs that never come from procrastination.

Doing hard things trains the brain and body to stretch. Each time we push past resistance, we’re not just achieving a single task—we’re building resilience and self-trust that spill over into every other area of life.

And what makes it easier: accountability.

• Being accountable to others—whether a workout buddy, a mentor, or a colleague—creates external pressure that helps us follow through.
• But being accountable to ourselves is the highest form. It means doing what we said we’d do, even when no one else is watching. That’s where true growth lies.

Whenever I struggle with consistency for the habits I want to build, I bring some form of accountability. Like asking Gunjan to point it out whenever I am biting my nails. It served me well, and I have for the most part, gotten rid of this 25 year old, extremely poor habit. Its juut a tool. Sometimes the easiest way to build the habit of doing hard things is to let someone else hold up the mirror.

In the long run, the things that feel hardest are often the ones that matter most. I am train myself to lean into them. Over time, the “hard” becomes the normal—and life, health, work, and relationships will hopefully be stronger for it.

• To stay healthy and fit: Waking up early, going to the gym everyday, eating healthy, cooking, buying the right food and groceries, sleeping on time
• To have healthy relationships:
• Gunjan: Spend meaningful time everyday, keep knowing each other better, do activities together, play games, watch a movie, travel together
• Family: Speak with them everyday, know whats going on in their lives, meet them more than once a year, maybe plan a trip with family
• With myself: Find leisure time to read books, write, doing a sport, learn the guitar, learn a new language etc
• Friends: Make new friends in a city where you dont have a community, the few you have - try and meet them on the weekends, maybe weekdays if things can work out, keep in touch with old ones, the ones not in my city meet them in their city or when they come visit, feel bad about the ones you arent in touch with
• To grow in my career: Work hard, do my best, be curious and learn new topics, subjects, skills, network, find opportunities for growth, find good mentors, managers, colleagues. Look for work that is rewarding, fulfilling, intellectually stimulating, know when its time to change (or at least guess)
• Manage money: Take care of what I spend on, invest responsibly, plan for the future, insurances, pensions, ISAs, Loans, Mortgages, money to be saved for emergencies, family, etc.

Well, to have nice things you have do the hard things.

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